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Thiruvaaymozhi 9.9- malligai kamazh thenRalum maalai poosalum

From the Bhakti List Archives

Madhavakkannan V • September 19, 1998 


Sri:

Dearest Sisters and Brothers,

The evening has come; all cows and calves are coming back; the boys (who 
went along with KaNNan) also are coming back. I think KaNNan is coming 
behind. The "AzhwAr" (Parangusa nAyaki) is waiting and waiting. He is 
not there. The lovely twilight evening is killing her. The breeze, the 
moon, the roars of ocean waves, the birds (anRil), the flute music- 
thoughts of KalyANA guNAs of the Lord-they all torment her. Here comes 
the next ten from the languishing lady. 

NampiLLai gives a BEAUTIFUL TITLE for this ten "malligai kamazh 
thenRalum maalaip poosalaum". There is also an interesting anecdote on 
this. Nambhi thiruvaranga naaraayaNa dAsar is a sishya of NampiLLai. One 
day, after listening to NampiLLai's discourse on Thiruvaaymozhi, this 
sishya went and met another sishya by name "peRRi". PeRRi asked dAsar 
"what did you hear from dear NampiLLai today?" dAsar relied "aRukkum 
vinai" thiruvaaymozhi (9.8- which we saw in last post)". PeRRi said 
"tomorrow you will come and tell "malligai kamazh thenRalum maalai 
poosalum"- won't you?". Such an involvement they had on this ten! Let us 
smell the fragrant jasmine breeze and feel the tinge of the lady's 
suffering from languishing due to the pleasant evening and separation 
from KaNNan.

1. The breeze that is filled with the fragrance of jasmine hugs and cuts 
my body (into two); the pleasing evening "kuRinji" music embraces my 
ears and punctures it; The bright rays of the evening red sun and the 
evening is making me faint; The reddish (due to twilight) clouds are 
simply tearing my body to pieces; My Master KaNNan the Lotus eyed Lord 
of mine who had joined me and hugged me has now left me in this 
situation. My breasts and my shoulders that the Male Lion had hugged are 
suffering due to loneliness; I am helpless and am at a loss as to where 
He is and how to reach Him. (What a Poet! What a Bhakthi!- You should 
read them in Thamizh! malligai kamazh theNral eerum aalO! vaN kuRinji 
isai thavaro aalO! Â…. aalO- equivalent to aiyO!)

2. Which is my asylum- I don't know. I am suffering due to separation. 
The sounds of bells (tied to oxen), the breeze, the music of flute are 
all killing me! Iyo! The day time went off with an expectation that at 
least in the evening He would come. Now the evening- the sandal 
fragrance are all aggravating my sufferings terribly; the music 
(panchama paNN?) the evening air are literally tearing me; The Lord 
KaNNan- the Mischievous One- the Chief of Cowherd people- the One who 
measured the whole universe - the One who brought the earth back from 
the deep "troubled" waters - the One who ate and spat the universe and 
saved it- The One who is like Yaman for asurAs - now He has not come to 
alleviate my sufferings; What is the use of my living hereafter?

3. Empermaan hugged me, joined me in such a way that my breasts have 
become softer; the waist has become weak; - and He has left me. After 
His joining me, and after He has left me all alone- There is no use at 
all for my survival anymore. I think that Young Lion- My Master will NOT 
come hereafter. His Lotus Like eyes, Red Mouth, The Dark, long curly 
tresses, Four Shoulders, - They all have stayed in this sinner's mind. 
His exquisite Beauty - His ThirumEni is splitting me into two and is 
killing me.

4. Thoughts of my Emperumaan, who had deserted me are tearing me apart; 
The chill evening breeze is so hot for my body due to my viraha thaapam; 
Cool moon rays are so warm that urn me; the soft bed of flowers has 
become too warm for me- Thus I am suffering being left by KaNNan. That 
Bhagawaan, who rides on GarudA - I would call Him as "the Divine bee". 
That "Deiva vaNdu" has entered into this feminine soft body of mine, 
joined me and then left me; (like the bee sucking the honey from flowers 
and takes off!) See how much my AthmA is troubled! Things that remind me 
of Him are killing me; Even my mind is not there as my companion. That 
has also deserted me and gone to Him. (In this pAsuram 
Garudavaahanathvam establishes Parathvam says NampiLLai!)

5. My mind too is not giving me company. The evening also has arrived- 
it's time for cows to return home. The lonely me- the evening- Why it 
has not struck in His mind and why He has not yet arrived here! His mind 
has become a stone! His flute music is pulling me! Even my friends get 
more worried about me and ask when He would marry me. When such is my 
situation, how can I save myself? Getting his mercy is so difficult? 

6. Oh Mothers! Getting His grace is so difficult for me! Except for His 
grace, no on else's is worth it at all. Hence, until I get His mercy, my 
jIvan does not belong to me. (means it is not there!). It may even be 
possible that it may never be mine. The day time has gone and the 
twilight also has arrived. This lovely evening is completely ruining me 
and torturing me. Bhagawaan's ThirumEni is shared by Sivan, MrahmA (on 
His navel), Periya PiraaTTI MahA Lakshmi et al. When I think of His such 
merciful guNA, how is it that there isn't any space for me at all with 
Him? If such is the case, where else can I go to? To whom shall I 
complain and who will save me?

7. Oh Mothers! That mischievous Lord, dark hued, cloud coloured Lord 
KaNNan has robbed  the matchless heart of mine and gone off. It has gone 
with Him and is no more with me. When I suffering here with terrible 
loneliness, being separated from Him, this evening chill breeze also 
torments me. This breeze also joins the smoke (that arises from the 
"yaagams") and is mixed with sandal fragrance. Such a breeze, filled 
with the music and the fragrance of jasmine in the air, are all jointly 
throwing flakes of fire at me and are burning my body with viraha 
thaapam. To whom can I tell all my sufferings ( and who can save me?)

8. This chill breeze is splitting me. That red sky kills me. His such 
mischief (of leaving me here!) is more cruel to me than Himself! These 
jasmine flowers, the fresh sandal fragrance, the breeze are all 
disturbing me greatly. His flute music (that He is playing for those 
cowherd girls) is also killing me. It is difficult for me to survive 
anymore.

9. I am not able to bear listening to His flute music. He expresses His 
love and His words and feelings to those Aayar peNgaL (Cowherd girls) 
through His music. With His facial expressions, He sends messages to 
each one of them. He literally makes them lose themselves with His such 
facial expressions and bhAvams. He makes them forget their "oodal" 
(minor squabbles) with such advances. And this Lord is troubling me also 
by not coming here. He has not yet come still! It is already getting 
dark.

10. It is already late evening! But Maayavan has NOT yet come. The cows 
are coming back fully rejoiced jumping happily with their oxen (with 
bells tied to their necks) after a day's time with their respective 
companions. His flute music also is coming in the air and is killing me. 
The bees (sitting on those fragrant jasmine flowers ) are also humming 
which troubles me. Even the crying roars of oceanic waves are reaching 
the sky. aiyO! Each one of these aggravates my suffering only. How will 
I ever survive?

11. Kurugoor SadagOpar has sung the terrible suffering of the Cowherd 
girls being unable to be separated from KaNNan and of the aggravating 
languishing due to the lovely jasmine fragrance laden breezy evening. 
One should pay obeisance to the Lord (who ate and spat the universe) and 
sing these ten songs which Sri SadagOpar  has sung on Him. Oh 
BhAgawathAs, sing them merrily and get saved by KaNNan.

NammAzhwAr ThiruvadigaLE SaraNam

Ram Ram

With Best Regards

NarayaNa dAsan madhavakkannan



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