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Thiruvaaymozhi 9.6- Before I wanted to swallow Him, He drank me completely

From the Bhakti List Archives

Madhavakkannan V • Fri Sep 04 1998 - 03:11:08 PDT 


Sri:

Dearest Sisters and Brothers, (Don't miss the tenth pAsuram! Great one!)

AzhwAr, was lamenting for being deserted by Emperumaan in the last ten. 
Now, he remembers his previous enjoyment of being united with the Lord 
(in his "irutthum viyandhum"- 8.7) and now he cherishes those memories 
in this ten. Namjeeyer says "what AzhwAr enjoyed in 8.7, he brings out 
for us here.". NampiLLai narrates that it is describing and enjoying the 
kalyANA guNAS of Emperumaan that removes the Viraha thaapam (and preethi 
inmai)- and that is how Alavanandhaar commented-
(A great ten for BhAgawathAs to enjoy Ahobila Mutt 600 the centenary 
celebrations better.)

1. At Thirukaatkarai Divya Desam, SarvEshwaran is present so gracefully. 
Thinking of His excellent, ineffable KalyANa guNAs, my mind simply is 
melting away. The desire (to enjoy Him more) burst out uncontrollably, 
crossing all limits and bounds. I am not able to control the thirst that 
arises in me to enjoy His GuNAs, when I think of His GuNAs. What will I 
do now, with so much craving for Him?

2. My Father, who stays at Thirukkaatkarai! I keep thinking of Your 
KalyANa guNAs. But I am not able to think of that fully and understand. 
When they are so ineffable, I just wished to tell and enjoy and still I 
am not able to do that. I have no capacity nor strength to utter that. 
What can I do? Whether I think of them; or utter of them' they all 
simply melt my heart and mind, like the watery food. If I sing of Your 
Glories (that destroy all cruel sins), my jIvan itself burns. Hence, my 
heart, mind, and jIvan- everything burns, and I am not able to think of 
how to perform kaimkaryam to You, who is my master. 

3. My father, whose colour is like that of dark, dense clouds, is 
gracefully present at Thirukkaatkarai. I can not understand the way He 
deceived me and cheated, by entering into my mind. Then after doing all 
this, He is now making me involve in His kalyANa guNAs, and making me 
get melted thinking of His guNAs. The Saviour, The Protector, who should 
have taken care of me, is now, on the contrary, killing me! He is eating 
my mind (with His guNAs). Is it not deceit? He entered in to me o 
ensalve me and shows all His qualities. I am not able to comprehend 
them. (Such SarvEshwaran, due to His Parama sowlabhyam, has stopped down 
so low to my level and entered into me and showed me His GuNAs- I just 
can NOT describe His such a GuNA- He is so GREAT!)

4. All worlds come into His mind for controlling them. He directs and 
executes, unmistakably, as an antharyaami in all beings. Such a Lord is 
here at Thirukkaatkarai. Such a Parathvam, antharyaami, who is there in 
anthing and everything, is so much in love with this lowly small 
craeture, (i.e me). And How can I know of His such Greatest GuNA? An 
aRpan (lowly self), - adiyEn- and He has swallowed adiyEn's AthmA and 
showed me His Graceful GuNAs. Such GuNA of His- The One who destroyed me 
(my ego) and swallowed me completely and shows me Himself and His GuNAs- 
How can I get to understand that?

5. Emperumaan, as if He is going to bless me with His grace and dayA, 
entered into my heart and occupied it entirely. Thereafter, He, in one 
gulp, swallowed both my body and the jIvan simultaneously (with His 
Beauty and KalyANa guNAs- means: My jIvan now only wants Him and my 
senses, His ThirumEni.) Such a mischievous Lord is here gracefully 
showing Himself at Thirukkaatkarai. What a way that Dark Black Beauty 
cheated me! Not only did He stoop down so low (with such a sowlabhyam) 
to enslave me, He also enjoys my Body and AthmA all by Himself (by 
swallowing them with His GuNAs and Beauty) How loving is He towards me 
(adiyEn)!

6. That KaNNan's cheating acts of appearing as if He obliges  (and 
entering into me and eating the whole of me) appear to be true to me. 
That only shows and proves His love for me and His swallowing of my 
AthmA and my Body due to His great love for me only substaniate my 
understanding. Even then, with this little knowledge, I keep paraisng 
Him saying "Emperumaan KaNNan, My Lord, is here at Thirukkaatkarai". 
(One Tamil scholar interprets the line "enakku semmaay irukkum" as " 
enakku sEmamaay irukkum" means: He is comfort and well being for me; 
(and not as indicated in the first line of this paragraph.- It is also 
appropriate)

7. Bhagawaan, under the pretext of enslaving me, enters into me and ate 
(swallowed) my uyir (jIvan). A little portion of my "uyir", which was 
consumed by such Maayavan- Cheater- KaNNan, is still let over by Him and 
is yet to be swallowed. Due to that little- which is yet to be 
swallowed- I am praising Thirukkaatkarai Emperumaan and pray to Him for. 
(Look at the beauty of the words- AzhwAr is enjoying terrific, Dearest 
BhagavatOttamAs. He had eaten my life. But didn't finish everything and 
left a little bit yet to be swallowed by His Beauty and GuNAs. Hence, I 
have still some "kuRai". (means it is not whole- some thing still 
remains). Such a "kuRaiyuLLa" adiyEn- the One who has still that kuRai" 
is praying to Emperumaan for finishing that kuRai also and making him 
wholly swallowed). Hence, I keep calling Him "KaNNA! KaNNA!". Due to my 
longing for Him (to finish His quota), I suffer- I torment and melt 
thinking of Him continuously.

8. Bhagawaan, without expecting anything from me and any effort from my 
end, swallowed my AthmA and enjoyed me. Everyday, He came, He entered 
into me, ate me and enjoyed. He is the Emperumaan who is here at 
Thirukkaatkarai and is my Emperumaan. My jIvan has become the obedient 
servant of Emperumaan, who is like the Dark Black Clouds which had 
swallowed the water (rainy clouds). Hence, I am really suffering due to 
His GuNAs. ( The suffering due to Bhagawaan's GuNAs is so  great and 
natural and His swallowing me is like the clouds swallowing the water.).

9. Due to my love and thirst for Him and my suffering from that- who 
else would have suffered like me? (None would have- That is why AzhwAr 
is kula pathi). Would NityasUris also have suffered  like me? 
(Naturally! It is His Beauty and KalyANa guNAs that do the trick! They 
must have suffered!) That Black Beauty has large petalled Lotus flower 
like eyes. He has red, curvy, most beautiful bimbhA fruit 
("Kovvaippazham") like lips and mouth. He is here at this divya sthalam 
of Thirukkaatkarai. He has got the movely name of "Deiva vaari" and to 
Such Perumaan- in as much as my jIvan suffers, no one else would have 
suffered. (Deiva vaari is the name of Emperumaan in this Divya Desam. 
Means: the God of all (demi) Gods- hence, Deiva vaari - The Deivam (God) 
who creates Demi Gods.)

10. (Dearest Sisters and Brothers- This is a damn good pAsuram. What an 
enjoy ment of AzhwAr! How would have sung and How Madhurakavi must have 
enjoyed! Don't we envy Madhura kavi?) "vaarik koNdu unnai vizhungubhavan 
kaaNil enRu/ aarvuRRa ennai ozhiya ennil munnam/ paaritthu* thaan ennai 
muRRap paruginaan/ kaarokkum kaatkarai appan kadiyanE/". BhagawaanE! The 
moment I saw You, immedialetly I longed and desired to take You in both 
arms and eat You. (We used to say that to our kids when they are small. 
"unnai appadiyE kadicchu saappidalaam pOla irukku." I feel like biting 
your cheeks and eating you. That is out of our love and affection. 
AzhwAr gets into that extent of love or even much more. Will we ever get 
an iota of such love for Emperumaan?). But, You, are ahead of me and 
before I acted, You have taken me and drunk me completely. Such Graceful 
Lord is Thirukkatkarai Emperumaan. The love which I have for Him 
(because of which I felt like eating Him) is luch less than what He has 
for me (as He has drunk me before I even went nearer to Him). 
(NampiLLai, for this word "paruginaan" (drunk) comments so beautifully 
and nicely; Last pAsurams, AzhwAr said that Emperumaan ate Him and 
swallowed Him. Now after eating He needed water to drink. Hence, He 
drank AzhwAr. Because AzhwAr is His "uNNum chORu and parugum neer". 
Isn't he? First, Emperumaan, (as told by AzhwAr in the first pAsuram) 
made AzhwAr melt like watery food due to Hia Beauty and guNAs; and then 
in the last pAsuram, He has drunk him. What a commentary by NampiLLai!)

11. Bhagawaan, when He appeared as KaNNan, killed kamsan. About such 
Emperumaan KaNNan- Sri SadagOpar of Thirukkurugoor has sung 1000 
pAsurams. Out of them, these ten will enable it readers to finish the 
vicious cycle of births and deaths and destroy this "mirage" water of 
samsaaram (illusory happiness)

NammAzhwAr ThiruvadigaLE SaraNam


Ram Ram

With Best Regards

NarayaNa dAsan madhavakkannan

P.S Wishing the 600 the centenery celebration of Sri Ahobila Muth a 
grand success! my mind will only be there. Can Dileepan please post the 
photos in Sri Ahobila Muth web page, not only Emperumaan's also of 
BhAgawathAs.  


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