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Mahesh's posting on Lord Varadaraja

From the Bhakti List Archives

lakshminarayan krishnaswamy • July 7, 2000 


Dear Mahesh,

In my response to your posting I had  talked about my “personal 
experience”.I thought I will elaborate and share my “personal experiences” 
with you and other bhakthi members also.

I started off my carreer as a credit analyst. After working for about 23 
years I felt that I should be doing something on my own and not waste my 
time working for someone . In 1993  I resigned my job and started my own 
business – in corporate promotionals and giveaways- a line which had nothing 
to do with what I had done all along. My business did well for the first two 
years. In 1995 I landed into serious problems. To call my problems as 
“serious” would be an understatement.

It was against this background that I made a trip to Tirumala- footing it to 
the top from Alipiri. It was a Shankaranti day. There was not much of a 
crowd. I was climbing up the hills choked with emotions, tears rolling down 
my cheeks even as I thought “God how unfair you have been to me. You know 
fully well that I have never wished anybody ill . Govinda, I have none but 
you to look upto. If you let me down in my moment of crisis it a shame to 
you. With tears in my eyes and with none but you in my thoughts I earnestly 
appeal to you to help me out”. It took me 3 hours to reach Tirumala.I had an 
excellent darshan that day and returned back to Bangalore the same night.

It was 2.15 in the night when an aura ( something I had never ever seen till 
that day) occurred in my dreams. It commanded as follows:
1)	I know why you had come to my place. Do not worry, I will
        take care of you.
2)	Go perform prapatti immediately.
3)	Recite Godha Stuti every day.
4)	Worship Sudharshana regularly.
5)	Wear “Tamarai Malai” ( this was something which I had not even
        seen till I had actually purchased one piece).
6)	Do Tiruvaradhanam regularly..
7)	Give me a large portion of your earnings.
8)	I will from time to time tell you what to do with these funds.

After the aura disappeared, what was remarkable was the extraordinary 
tranquility that I experienced for about 5 minutes.

When I discussed this dream with my acharyan, he asked me if I believed in 
what I was saying. When I replied him in the affirmative, he said “this is a 
miracle, just obey the dictates”. My Acharyan performed Saranagathi for me 
within 7 days from that date.
I also started following all the “dictates” one by one. Amusingly, things 
now went from bad to worse. When things could not be any worse, I realised 
that there was a force which was  not allowing me to sink. I gradually 
learnt to disassociate “my-self” from “me” and look at all that was 
happening to me with absolute equanimity. This standing away from me and 
looking at me, was a remarkable experience.Incidentally the period from '94 
was also the beginning of Saturn's 7 1/2 period for me.

After about 10 months , things started improving dramatically. Even clients 
whom I had met 2 years back gave me business for no valid reasons. Today 4-5 
years after my “first encounter with divinity”, my business is running on 
itÂ’s own steam. I am trying to concentrate a lot more of my time and energy 
on srivaishnava causes and other charities. Today, the confidence that “I 
have entrusted myself to HIM” gives me tremendous zeal and energy. The fears 
of yesteryears are no longer there and I can say with all the confidence 
that I have that, “YOUR PRAYERS TO HIM WILL NEVER EVER GO UNANSWERED. 
ENTRUST YOURSELVES TO HIM WITH ABSOLUTE FAITH IN HIM AND IN HIS SYSTEM OF 
JUSTICE, AND LEAVE THE HEADACHE OF MANAGING YOU, TO HIM”.

Pranamams,.
Adiyen,
K.Lakshminarayan.



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