Thiruvaaimozhi 5.4- The whole world is sleeping peacefully except ME!
From the Bhakti List Archives
• April 20, 1998
SrI: Dearest Sisters and Brothers, In the last ten, AzhwAr was so much obsessed with KaNNan and wished to perform madal oordhal immediately; Due to her (parAngusha nAyakiÂ’s) suffering, she exerted herself and was so tired; The dusk also set in. It became dark. Hence, she had to postpone her performance of madal oordhal. AzhwAr describes MOST EXCELLENTLY the languishing suffering of the nayaki due to her being away from her beloved Lord for so long; More so, during nights, any disease gets aggravated. IT IS A SUPERB RENDERING OF AZHWAR. 1. Everybody has slept. The ones who blamed me; the ones who talk good about me; the ones who gave me company- all sorts of people has gone to sleep. When everyone is so united in sleeping in this L......O......N.....G night, When, the whole world is filled with so much darkness, when the animals on land and in water have gone to sleep, there is no sound any where and it is so much deafening silence that kills me. The One, who saved the world during the Cosmic cycle is not coming now to protect me. The One who has the snake as His bed, is not coming now and is making me suffer in this night. I have committed so many greatest sins; is there any one who can save me? (No.) My getting saved- is it possible any more? No. (This Pasuram is our dearest SrI MaNiÂ’s favourite). 2. Everywhere -it is pitch dark. It is darkness, totally incomparable. This night appears to be getting Longer and longer. This darkness spans everywhere- the deep sea, the vast earth, the sky- it occupies everywhere with huge ugliness. My KaNNan, who is like the fresh bloomed flower petals, has not yet come. The Ever helpful Lord, is not here to help me. Oh mind of the greatest sinner (i.e. me!), you are also NOT there to provide me support and company (because you have gone to Him). aiyO! Who else can save me! (tvayi rakshati rakshakai kim anyai; tvayi cha arakshati rakshakai kim anyai- Swami Desikan says in Kaamaasikaashtakam- Oh NarasimhA! When You have decided to protect some one, where is the need to look for the protection from other Gods? And when You have decided NOT to save some one, who is capable of protecting that person?- Simple; But nettiyadi (hitting straight on the forehead) for those who are after other dEvathAs;) 3. Oh Mind, without you, I can Not do any thing; Even you have deserted me and do not appear to be doing good to me; This long, vast dark, night appears to be lengthening more only and is not reducing. It keeps lengthening. Oh RamA! Like You went to save SitA Piraatti, why are You Not coming to help me? His Not helping me is due to my lots of paapams and I am born as a mahApaapi girl in this world. But I do not know how to die now. 4. The bright Sun also has gone saying that he can not bear to see the sufferings of those who are born as females. (Excellent- It is still unfortunately manÂ’s world. The sufferings a female undergoes with so much patience and endurance is beyond description and words- NampiLLai writes that ladies always are supported by the male members; they are so soft and tender and can not bear the pangs of separation - Hence, they are the Greatest sufferers in this world and undergo more dukkham;- KavimaNi dEsika vinaayakam piLLai a, tamil poet wrote: moonRu bhuvanatthu poruL muRRum kodutthu EnRa vazhpaadu iyaRRidinum en Thaay oru naaL vaLarrthadhukku iyaiyaavE- " Even if one offers all the three worlds and worship his mother, even then, it will NOT BE EQUAL TO ONE DAY OF HER CARE AND BRINGING HIM UP- HATS OFF TO ALL SISTERS IN THIS GROUP.) Even Vaamanan has not come to save me. Who will now remove my sufferings? 5. The mother and friends, who are to help me in such times of crisis are now sleeping throughout this long night without even bothering to know my state of sufferings. Okay, if they do not know or care to know; What about my KaNNa perumaan who has to save me? He also has not come. At least am I able to end my life? I am not able to do that either. I am just living for nameÂ’s sake. 6. The love disease has been chasing my mind without any interruption or gap and has been hurting me greatly. The long night appears like the end of the world and has literally engulfed the whole world and has even darkened my eyesight. Alas! The ever permanent, My maayavan, Emperumaan has not come to save me yet. In this state, there is none who can help me but Him. 7. It is His duty to protect me and save me; Even if He does not come, who else will come to save me? This lengthening night, this cold night sees the snow drops everywhere. Oh What can I do? In such a might, the Omni present Emperumaan, with His white Conch and Strong ChakrA, has not yet appeared. What amount of sins I must have committed for that Most Merciful Lord even NOT to save me? Oh Gods! The Ones who do not wink your eyes! You all are awake, but have not helped me (by recommending my case to the Lord). I am literally crippled and helpless. 8. Oh Gods! What can I do? This long night literally hurts my body and thins me down, while the chill breeze enters even my bone. In spite of my terrible sufferings, He has not come to me. The breeze that others enjoy is literally burning me (causing more viragha thaapam) like the fire. 9. This long night, with dense darkness, with chill breeze and snow droplets everywhere, is burning my body like fire. When will there be light and dawn? When will the bright Sun appear in the East? The Red Lotus eyed Lord, My Most Beautiful KaNNan has also NOT come; My mind has been literally weeping thinking of Him. Who else will cure my mindÂ’s sorrows? 10. In this dark, long, chill night, Oh my Goodness! There is none to help me! The whole world is simply NOT bothered about my sufferings. (AzhwArÂ’s anubhavam is simply superb; one can really feel this long, night and loneliness when we suffer with some pain or disease; every body else sleeps; except the patient.- it is really pathetic. More so, when you are love sick; Most so, when you are love sick with the Chief Himself!). No one sympathises with me; He came and appeared in front of mahAbhali! But He has NOT appeared in front of me yet. Oh No! The whole world is sleeping! 11. The One who is having His yOgha nithrA on the AdhisEshan, Emperumaan KaNNan has been sung by SrI SadagOpar in his 1000 pAsurams of Thiruvaaimozhi. Out of those 1000, those who read these ten- How can they NOT reach SrI Vaikuntam when they leave from their bodies? (They will definitely reach and will NOT stay here for any more births to talk about AzhwArÂ’s sufferings). AzhwAr thiruvadigaLe saraNam Ram Ram With Best Regards NarayaNa dAsan madhavakkannan ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com
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