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Bhakti-Prapatti anology to marriage

From the Bhakti List Archives

Tatachar • October 19, 1995 


Perhaps another way of looking at Bhakti and Prapatti is the instance of a
great human tradition "Weddimg."

Bhakti is sort of an arranged marriage. First you study hard to get a good
respectable job. Avoid all religious inclinations (this means not being true
to yourself), for eg., keep your mouth shut at Shattumorais-because
participation in those will only impress pattis and not their pothis and
would only guarntee a Shashti sappad and not your wedding to a rich, fair,
tall, slim, professional girl  from a reputed family with both Eastern and
Western values.  

Thus, after leading a delicately balanced quarter of a  life, with Gods grace
will get to marry a girl of your dreams. Not so simple. After numerous teeter
tattering (Twancha-hunchas) an agreement is reached, muhurtham is fixed and
changed numerous times because some pullaikku or ponnukku relative has
aashowcham or  some other ananukoolam.  Worse yet some distant pullaikku mama
finds fault with the somavara  muhurtham (Thinggakkilimai kalyanam koodadu)
fixed by the best of the purohits of bride side which was formally agreed by
the groom side. But this mama (who was hybernating all these years) vaakyam
thaan shruti.  Still a long way to go for the wedding. All these delays will
leave only an hour after the reception  to make it back to the mid-night
flight back to the USA. The three weeks time after wedding you had allowed to
get to know your heart mate was consumed in the twancha-hancha yagna. But the
important thing is everyone unconcerned  including the vadyagaran, kadai
chettiar, budubudukevan  and the kole Basavan. are happy. 

After arriving in the States to an empty apartment. Life is as usual for at
least three more  years, the normal time for a spousal immigrant visa.  These
three years are worse than the earlier 25 or 30 years. Finally the bride
joins three years older and now the real communion interrupted by overseas
calls  day in and day out. one such call brings the sad news of the demise of
your wife's almost mother like aunt or patti. She is back to India again.
Life goes on and finally you both learn to live happily for ever.  This is
Bhakti marga.

 Prapatti margha, is that punk who runs into this most beautiful girl in the
sub way and hit it on- love and marriage at first site and they remain
happily married for ever. Most people do not even know when they met, how
they met,  where or how or when they got  married etc.  This is Prapatti
marga.
(Direct dive into an inseparable love affair at age 18, just as the charama
shloka in the chapter 18 of Gita)

K. Sreekrishna