Thiruvaaymozhi 7.3- How long He must have been planning to conquer me!

From the Bhakti List Archives

• June 18, 1998


SrI:

Dearest Sisters and Brothers,

AzhWar (Parangusa nayaki) was lying unconscious, unable to bear her 
separation, kept thinking of the Lord Emperumaan Sri Ranganathar. When 
the mother addressed Sri Ranganathar with His Kalyana gunas, and 
Parangusanayaki's anubhavam, the girl got rejuvenated with that uttering 
of Ranga alone. She got up fully charged and was agile and dynamic, full 
of enthu to proceed to look for Him further. She decides to go to 
ThiruppEreyil. That is this ten pAsurams.

1. Oh AmmA! The Lord, Sriman Narayanan is having His stroll (on His 
Gauda (Periya Thiruvadi) and with His Sabghu and ChakrA) in my heart. 
How will I be able to describe to you the way He is showing Himself so 
majestically in my heart? How will you be able to see it outside? In as 
much as you can not see with your eyes, I also can NOT describe with my 
words. He is so beautifully present at ThiruppEreyil Divya Desam. I will 
go and reach there. There Vedas and festivities sounds are always heard.

2. Oh my dear friends (those who have so much fragrant hairs)! My 
mother! My neighbours! Since my heart is different from me, I do not 
know how to restrict and prevent its going to Emperumaan. That heart of 
mine, is lost and has been lost to MaNivaNNan at all times (days and 
nights). There is absolutely NO WAY to get back my heart, since that 
heart has gone to That ParamaPadha Nathan KaNNan, who is appearing at 
ThiruppEreyil and who has the Most exquisitely beautiful Red Coral lips, 
like Bimbha fruit.

3. Friend! My heart has involved itself in the marvellous beauty of His 
Red lovely, curvy lips and mouth, that are like fruits. My heart has 
been conquered by His Red Lotus Feet. He has made me suffer ( to long 
for Him terribly) by showing His Red lotus like eyes, with His ChakrA 
and Sanghu. I have dedicated myself and I am lost to those lovely eyes. 
("ennamudhanaik kaNda kaNgaL maRRonRinaik kaaNaavE"). I have lost myself 
to that Lord of ThiruppEreyil, Kuzhaikkadhar, (where all months and all 
days there are festivals taken place), and thus I have also lost my 
"naaNam" (feminine shyness).

4. ammA! Earlier I had lost myself to Emperumaan and my brownish 
complexion became pale. I sent my heart to get back my lovely brown 
complexion from Him; But, even that heart refuses to come back now and 
it has stayed there itself with Him. Now to whom will I tell and weep to 
and Ho long will I survive? For me, it has become that THERE IS NO ONE 
NOW EXCEPT EMPERUMAAN KUZHAIKKAADHAN HIMSELF, who is staying 
majestically at ThiruppEreyil. There is no use in getting angry with me.

5. AmmA! I have fallen in love with KaNNan and He has robbed my feminine 
beauty. He kicked the sakataasuran with His small lotus Feet, when He 
appeared as KaNNan. He sucked the life of BhUthanai. He crawled between 
the two trees. He banged the Calf (the asurA, who came in disguise) 
against the viLaa maram (tree) and killed both asurAs (in Calf and in 
the tree). I have lost myself to that wonderful, Greatest Lord KaNNan. 
What is the use in getting angry with me? Please take me to that KaNNan 
without any further delay. He is there at ThiruppEreyil. 

6. The love I have for Empeprumaan, the Blue hued Lord, is MUCH MUCH 
BIGGER AND DEEPER THAN THE OCEAN. He is here in front of me standing. 
BUT I AM NOT STILL ABLE TO HUG HIM AND EMBRACE HIM WITH MY HANDS. He is 
very much there at ThiruppEreyil, only to show Himself to us. Please do 
not delay further and take me to that Divya sthlam, where Brahmins 
perform Yaaghams and recite Four Vedas uninterruptedly.

7. Then ThiruppEreyil is the place where Emperumaan, the One who went to 
lankaa and destroyed the asurA kingdom, Sri Ramar, is appearing 
gracefully. My heart went there and has NOT come back to me. It stays 
there itself. Now, with this present state of affairs, is there any 
benefit for me? and by whom? friend!  There is no one who can bring back 
my heart. Since, there is NO OTHER GO, LET ME ALSO GO THERE TO JOIN MY 
HEART AND PROCEED TO THIRUPPEREYIL.

8. Friend! DO YOU KNWO HOW BIG AND DEEP IS MY LOVE FOR EMPERUMAAN? Due 
to my deep love, there were lot of changes that were explicitly visible 
in my body. People could easily find out, from those conspicuous 
appearances on my body and talked a lot about me and my love for that 
Blue hued dark, Cloudy coloured Lord. People talked what all rot. But, 
did my love diminish due to that? NO. ON THE CONTRARY, THE LOVE FOR 
EMPERUMMAN BECAME DEEPER AND BIGGER. Do You know how deep and big? The 
vast big earth- the vast blue large sky, the deep seven oceans, - MY 
LOVE IS MUCH BIGGER AND DEEPER THAN ALL OF THESE.  It has grown to such 
an extent. Hence, I will definitely proceed to ThiruppEreyil. No more 
messengers- No more waiting for Him- Let me go to Him.

9. My dear friends! ammA! From now on, you all can not console me; There 
is no effect by your consoling me. My heart is not at all with me. 
Hence, there is no connection of your words to me. (The connection- my 
heart is lost to KaNNan). That Cloud coloured Lord, ate the entire 
universe during PraLyam and saved the world. Such kaNNan is at 
ThiruppEreyil. I will go and reach there. PLEASE DO NOT CONSOLE ME 
HEREAFTER.

10. My friends! If my beloved Emperumaan, the One whom I have fallen in 
love with, does NOT come to me by Himself, Let me go everywhere and 
search for Him. I am not ashamed of that and there is no shyness for me. 
the reason is: That Emperumaan, with His resplendent ChakrAyusham, has 
robbed my heart and has conquered me completely with His exquisite 
divine beauty. He is the One who magically, effortlessly, without 
lifting any weapon, made Duryodhanaas, (100 Gauravaas) die in the 
battle. He is the One who is there at ThiruppEreyil. BY STAYING THERE AT 
THIRUPPEREYIL, I THINK HE, this Makara Nedun Kuzhaikaadhar Emperumaan 
(Lord, who has that long Makara Kundalam in His ears!) HAS BEEN PLANNING 
TO RULE ME AND CONQUER MY HEART FOR EVER AND EVER. (Only now He has 
succeeded!)

11. Emperumaan, in order to protect and save the BhakthAs, takes 
different forms and names and showers grace and mercy on them. In praise 
of that KaNNan, Achuthan, the Lord of Ocean colour, Sri SadagOpar of 
Thirukkurugoor has sing 1000 pasurams (in andhaadhi style). Out of those 
1000, these ten are on ThiruppEreyil Emperumaan. With these ten 
pAsurams, those who praise this Makara Nedun Kuzhaikaadhar Emperumaan, 
will shine with their kaimkarayam for Emperumaan as His humble servant.

NammAzhwAr ThiruvadigaLE saraNam

Ram Ram

With Best Regards

NarayaNa dAsan madhavakkannan


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